How do you heal this broken heart?
by Markie13
Summary: This takes place right after Christian finds Ana when she goes to give Jack the money and he hurts her. But what if Little Blip didn't make it? This is the story of what would have happened. Warning: Miscarriage and depression
1. Chapter 1

Everything was going in and out of focus. I clutched my stomach screaming at the sudden pain as jolts that felt like glass shards exploded inside me. I heard him before I saw him.

"Anna!" Christians worried voice was far, a car door slammed shut and then I heard his shoes quickly tapping the pavement as he ran to me. I was vaguely aware of the sound of a man seeming to be getting hurt from the distance and I knew it was Taylor giving Jack what he deserved.

"Anna, I'm right here baby," his voice was strained from stress and worry.

I was crying now, clenching my teeth together as the pain ripped through me.

I could see his face now, and there were tears in his eyes as well as he looked on in horror of his wife crumpled on the ground. Grabbing his arm I said, "Christian make sure the baby is okay. Please help him!" I pleaded, tears streaming down my cheeks. I had to make sure he knew how much I already loved this baby, even though this wasn't what he wanted.

Nodding he slid his arms under me, "Everything's going to be alright Baby."

"Promise," I said in a hoarse voice.

After a second he said, "I promise. The baby will be alright," his voice a solemn vow.

Taylor appeared at his side, looking just as worried as Christian, "Ambulance is on their way Sir."

And then, everything went black.

I could hear Christians voice, that still scared anxiety filled voice that he had, had earlier.

"Please, she's pregnant-"

Then I faded out again.

A quiet beeping sound filled my ears as I slowly opened my eyes. Christian was standing beside the bed, looking down at me. His forehead wrinkled with stress, his face not shaven for what looked like at least a day, and his clothes were creased in all the wrong places. I knew he hadn't been home in awhile and hadn't changed.

"Christian," my voice didn't sound like my own. It was barely there. Raspy and foreign.

His hand found mine and he smiled down at me, "I'm here Baby," he said gently.

"Is-is the baby okay?" I asked, suddenly panicked.

He hesitated for a second and looked tensed then nodded, his mouth in a firm line, "Everything's going to be fine. Rest."

Relief washed over me and I felt my entire body sigh. I nodded, my hand moving to my stomach protectively as a small smile played around the corners of my lips. Content, I closed my eyes and fell back into the darkness that weighed me down.

I woke up again to see the room more dimmer. From the shades of the big window in the hospital room I could see streams of orange and yellow peeking underneath, signaling the sun was setting. Christian, still standing at my side, was once again holding my hand.

"The nurse is just gonna do a few checks Baby. I'm sorry I had to wake you," he looked upset at the nurse. I wanted to roll my eyes at him. She was only doing her job.

The nurse smiled sweetly, and began looking over a chart.

I was surprised when Dr. Greene walked into the room, her no nonsense face clear as usual. Stopping at my bed her features softened, her hand lightly patting my leg. "Im sure you'll be wanting to head home Ana, so I'm gonna make sure to get you out of here as fast as I can. I know how hard coping with loss can be. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this."

My body went rigid and I flashed a panicked look at Christian.

His eyes shut and he took a deep breath.

"What is she talking about Christian?" I didn't mean for it to come out so loudly, but I appeared to have gotten my voice back without my knowing.

"Anna, I didn't want to worry you. You needed to rest-"

"So you fucking lied to me?" I asked exasperated.

Dr. Greene looked at Christian sternly, "You told me you told her."

Christians eyes opened, "I didn't want her getting upset!" He looked at me suddenly, "Anna, you were so fragile…I knew you couldn't take the stress of knowing."

I just sat there, stunned. My hand going to my stomach. I swallowed once and then in a small voice asked, "Is he…gone?"

"Anna, you suffered severe trauma, both mental and physical. The baby simply couldn't take it. You miscarried shortly after arriving here."

I felt as if someone had punched my chest. I took a ragged breath in, only to push it out in a sudden sob. I shook my head as the tears began pouring out of me.

"Anna, Baby I'm sorry," Christian said, trying to pull me to him. I put my hands up to stop him. Pushing him away, "Get away from me!" I snarled at him through my sobs.

"We'll leave you two alone." Dr. Greene said before her and the nurse quickly disappeared.

Christian and I barely noticed though. His face looked stunned and hurt from me rejecting him.

"You didn't even _want_ this baby!" I shouted at him. I put my face in my hands as I sobbed uncontrollably. I did this. I didn't protect my baby. Little blip.

"Anna, I did-"

"Stop talking! I don't want to hear any more of your lies!" I shouted, silencing him. It felt as if my chest were collapsing in on itself. I was sobbing uncontrollably now.

"Anna, please," his voice was low and sounded defeated. How hard I knew it must be for him, to watch me completely fall apart in front of him and me not let him comfort me. I didn't care though. I was beyond mad at him.

Rolling to my side I clutched a pillow to myself, facing my back to him. I don't know how long I cried but eventually, my body wore itself out and I literally cried myself to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

I was forced to stay in the hospital the next day as well, just under observation. I refused to speak to Christian the entire time. I would mainly pretend to sleep so that he wouldn't bother me. I knew he wouldn't interrupt me if he thought I was trying to rest.

But when I was finally discharged and was forced to sit in the back of the car with Christian, Taylor at the drivers seat, I knew my attempts to avoid him wouldn't last much longer. His hand slid to mine, and I could feel his intense stare, but I moved my fingers away from him. Leaning further away I looked out the window.

"Anna," his voice was low and stern.

I remained quiet. He scoffed, shaking his head then ran a hand through his hair, exasperated.

We pulled into the garage and I didn't wait for Taylor to open my door. I pushed it opened quickly and got out, practically running to our room. I shut the door behind me as I hurried to the bed. Kicking my shoes off, I climbed under the covers, pulling the quilt far up to my chin, and facing away from the door. The room was dark, the blinds drawn. I welcomed it. The dark was where I wanted to be right now.

I wasn't surprised when the door opened, causing the light from the hall to peek in a bit, but not quite reaching me.

Christians voice sounded beyond stressed, "I'll have Gail make you some lunch," he said, but the words were so strained. It didn't sound like Christians overly confident voice at all.

"Im not hungry." My quiet voice replied.

He let out a heavy sigh, "Anastasia-"

"I'm not hungry!" I said more firmly.

He was silent for a few seconds then I heard him walk out and shut the door behind him.

A swift kick to my stomach caused me to cry out. Then I heard a baby screaming. Another kick and _I_ screamed.

"Ana!" Christian was shaking me awake, and I opened my eyes to see him. I had tears running down my face.

"You were having a nightmare," he was loomed over me, concern the strongest feature on his face.

Sitting up I brought my knees to my chest and began to sob, rocking back and forth as I relived that horrible moment over again. My dream. "My baby," I sobbed hoarsely. I pretty much had no voice at this point. All the crying was taking it from me.

Christians arms tried to wrap around me but I snatched my head up to look at him, "No!"

His eyes were wide but I could tell he was overwhelmed by it all as well. His shoulders sagged from the rejection, something I was sure he'd never get use to coming from me.

"I bet you're glad it happened." My voice was ice cold to him.

Christian looked as though I had slapped him. "Of course not Ana, I would never had wanted this. Seeing you this way. How could you think that?"

But as horrible as it was, I needed him to hurt as bad as I was hurting right now. "Its hard for you, huh?" I asked, the sarcasm was thick.

Christian just looked at me.

"Why don't you go talk to _Mrs. Robinson_ about it, then. Sense, she seems to be the one you go to with our family problems."

His jaw clenched and I could tell he was trying to calm himself down.

A sudden urge that I was starting to know all too well, sent me jolting out of bed and running for the toilet. I crouched quickly and raised the lid as I threw up. I was shocked I still even had something to throw up at this point. But then I remember how I had been pretty much forced to eat at the hospital in order to leave.

Christian stood at the door, hovering over me. He pulled my hair back and right when I was going to tell him to leave, I threw up again. I sat there a second, making sure I was done.

"Are you alright?" Christian asked concerned.

I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand then flushed the toilet. Standing, with Christian helping me up, I nodded at him and headed for my toothbrush. I grabbed it from the small holder and put a dab of toothpaste on it then began brushing my teeth. Christian stood there, arms crossed over his chest, staring at my reflection. I ignored him, brushing my teeth, then rinsed both my toothbrush and my mouth and turned to go back to bed. He held his arm out, blocking my way. I stopped and looked at him. _Holly shit. _He looked bad. I hadn't really noticed, I suppose because I hadn't been spending time with him or talking to him…or looking at him for that matter.

He had circles underneath his eyes as well. He looked as tired as I felt. I didn't let this distract me though.

"What Christian?" My voice came out cold, but I didn't care.

His jaw clenched, "Ana, you cant keep treating me like this! I'm trying to help too."

I blinked at him, then scoffed, "Oh _now_ you want to help! Well fan-fucking-tastic! Where was this help when I found out I was fucking pregnant Christian? Huh?"

His eyes were blazing now. "It took me by surprise Ana! Fuck! You think this has only been hard on you! Well it hasn't!" His voice mirrored my cold one. It was shocking. And at my fragile state, I couldn't handle it. I couldn't handle a fight with Fifty right now. I looked down, clutching my chest and let out a whimper then began to cry, shocking Christian once again.

His temper vanishing, he pulled me to him, "Baby, I'm sorry," his voice now gentle in my ear. I let him hold me, but my limbs were stiff. I just _needed_ him to. As much as I hated him right now, I needed to be held. It wouldn't have mattered who was here right now, I needed it. "Lets get you back to bed," he murmured, then helped me back. My tears eventually settled and then, I was asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

"Ana, you need to eat." Christians voice is stern, and not to be tested.

But when I look down at the tray Gail has prepared me, I feel my stomach lurch. I shake my head and push it away.

He takes a long steady breath and I know he is trying not to explode at me. He releases it through his nose then says, "You have to eat Ana." He still has a tone, but I can tell he is trying to reason with me more than demand it.

I go back to looking out the window. "I really want to go back to the mountains." I say in a dreamy type of way. The thought of going hiking and getting away from the city and everyone in it, seems nice. I want to go back to Christians place in Aspen.

"When?" Christians voice is surprised and I know without even looking at him that his brows are raised.

"Now."

"Okay…I can arrange that."

"Then do it." My voice is flat, because I'm not at all surprised that he'd make it happen. Christian had been determined to make my life bearable these last couple of days, even though his attempts had been in vain.

I stayed locked in our room, not going downstairs once since I had got back from the hospital. Christian kept his distance, knowing that I wanted to be left alone but I knew he was having a hard time with that. When he'd come to bed he would wait until I was asleep to pull me to him. I'd wake up the next morning to have his limbs tangled around mine as if he were trying to get his fill of me in before he knew I'd wake up and push him away.

The nightmares had been the worse. Every night so far, sometimes more than once. And I had noticed that Christian had lost some weight as well. Though I never said anything about it, I was surprised he had been skipping meals as well.

Christians voice behind me on the phone pulls me back to the now. I'm sitting facing our bedroom window that looks out at the city. I was standing at the window so much these past couple of days that Christian finally went out and bought me a rocker to put in front of it. As I rocked I listened to his demanding voice on the phone, making the immediate arraignments for us to leave for Aspen. As much as I despised Christian right now, he did always try to make me happy.

"Okay, the plane is all set to take us in two hours. Do you want me to have Gail pack you a bag?" Christian appears by my side, his voice gentle.

I shake my head and look up at him, "No, I can do it." I stand and walk over to our closet, then turn back to him. "How long can we stay?" I ask, needing to know how much clothes to pack.

"As long as you want."

I nod and begin grabbing a lot of clothes. Normally I would insist we didn't stay too long, knowing Christian had a business to run and it would be more difficult doing that from Aspen. But fuck his work. The loss of our baby is more important and I need time to heal. Even if Christian never loved our baby.

"Do I need to pack your clothes too?" I ask as I reach for a couple pairs of yoga pants.

"I have clothes there. We can stalk your side of the closet when we get there. We didn't get the chance to last time. Maybe you can go to town and buy whatever you'd like when we arrive."

I pause mid reaching for a red hoodie and turn to look at him. "Im not really in the _shopping_ mood." I say cooly. My voice begins to tremble and Christian starts to back track.

"I just meant-to get your mind off things. I could come with you of course…" His voice is so unsure. It almost makes me feel bad. Almost.

I just go back to packing and ignore him. He didn't move the entire time. Just stood there as if studying a painting, while I set my clothes out on our bed. Finally when it was time for me to get my bag, he followed me into the closet and grabbed it from the top shelf for me.

"Thanks." I say as he sets it on the bed for me.

Smiling he looks over my shoulder at the pile I have acquired. "You planning on being there for awhile?"

I glare at him annoyed, "You said I could stay for as long as I wanted."

"I know, I just needed to know so I could plan accordingly for work."

I purse my lips and nod, picking up a shirt and folding it neatly before setting it inside my bag. "I'll tell you what. I'll stay for as long as I want, and if that interferes with work for you, you can come home whenever you'd like."

Christians brow furrows, easily picking up on my tone.

"I wouldn't leave you there Ana, you know this. I'll stay for as long as you need."

Taking a deep breath, my eyes close as I try to calm myself so as not to explode on him. When I spoke, my voice was very steady, "See thats the problem Christian. It shouldn't just be me who needs this. This should be something we are dealing with together."

"Baby," He tries to grab my hands but I pull away from him.

"Stop!"

He runs a hand through his hair, aggravated. "Why wont you just let me comfort you!"

"Why should I? After everything you've done! I needed you Christian and you just fucking left me! So why after all this shit you did to me, should I let you comfort me now?"

We stand there, both too stubborn to back down to the other. Finally Christian speaks.

"I'm sorry. I know I let you down. Please just forgive me so I can help you through this."

I have to wait a minute before I allow myself to speak. I didn't want to voice the hatred words that my brain was trying so fiercely get out of my mouth. So I simply just shake my head and say, "No."

Christians nostrils flare as his breathing increases, "Ana, you cant just continue to treat me this way!"

I remain quiet, folding my clothes and placing them in neat piles inside my bag. Christians defiantly trying to get a reaction from me, but I am in no mood to deal with Fifty right now.

"I think you need to see Flynn." His statement surprises me.

"Um, no."

"Yes, Ana you need to talk to someone, and if you wont let that someone be me, then I think Flynn is the right guy for you."

"I'm not going to go to your therapist to talk about this. I don't need to talk about it Christian, I need time-thats all."

"I'm setting up an appointment for when we get back and you're going." He says it as if his words are final say and it gets my blood boiling. My hands go to fist at my sides.

"Go ahead and make an appointment! But alls I'll tell him about is how you decide to run to your precious Mrs. Robinson every time we have an issue!"

Christians jaw clenches and he goes to defend himself, or her maybe, but I don't give him time to. "Don't try to deny it! I'm sick of it! I refuse for you to see her ever again!"

"How is this even relevant right now, Ana? I'm trying to talk about the baby and you-"

"No! You _do not_ get to talk about the baby. Not after all the terrible things you had to say about him when he was still-still," My voice breaks as the tears well up in my eyes and suddenly I'm sobbing.

Christian ignores my attempts to push him away from me, and his arms become a vice around my waist.

"Stop trying to push me away." His voice is commanding but loving at the same time. He holds me tightly, kissing the top of my head as I cry into his chest. I decide after a few minutes of fighting him to just give in and I wrap my arms around him tightly. My cries are that of a pained person, loud and angry at once. I don't care though. It's as if my body needs me to release in this way at least once a day in order to cope, and I gladly have been giving in to it. The fact that Christian is holding me this time, only seems to make my cries worse.

"Im so sorry," He whispers into my ear. His voice cracks at the end and for a second I wonder if he's crying as well. "I love you Baby, I'm so so sorry."

I just continue to cry for another good ten minutes, the entire time Christian just holds me. He doesn't try to get me to stop, or calm me down. Its as if he understand that I need this. Every now and then he whispers words of love, or more sorrys but other than that, he's silent. My cries finally turn to whimpers and I quickly wear myself out and wipe my now runny nose with the back of my hand.

I look up at him, "Can we still go?" I ask, my voice raspy.

"Of course. Let me finish packing your bag." He ushers me to the rocker and I sit as he quickly puts everything back in my bag for me. After what feels like only a few minutes he's in front of me, bag in hand and holds his free one to me. I take it and stand, us both walking down stairs and to the elevator. Gail smiles from the kitchen but its a sad kind of smile, that doesn't quite reach her eyes. She looks as if she has been crying and I know she's having a hard time seeing me this way. But I don't acknowledge her, I simply keep my head bowed low, holding Christians hand as we walk inside the elevator.

Once downstairs in the garage, Taylor is waiting by our car, the back seat door opened.

He nods at us both and has the same expression on his face Gail just had when he sees me. I ignore him as well and just slide into the backseat. Christian and him exchange a few hushed words and then he's in the backseat beside me.

That wall is once again back up between us, and I'm scooted as far away from Christian as possible in the backseat. He notices but remains quiet.

Once we arrive to plane, I'm half asleep and am now questioning us leaving. All I want right now is to curl up in bed and sleep. But once the car pulls up alongside the plane, Christian quickly gets out and holds the door for me. Knowing its too late to go back now, I get out of the car and Taylor hands Christian my bag.

"Have a nice trip Sir, Mam."

"Thank you Taylor, I'll keep you posted once I figure out how long we'll be there."

Taylor nods at him then heads back into the car.

I'm a little shocked that Taylors not coming with us, but I remain quiet, not wanting to get into it right now.

We walk up into the cab of the plane and as soon as we're on board a perky blonde girl that I haven't ever seen before greets us.

"Mrs. Grey, Mr. Grey, so happy to have you two!" She smiles brightly.

I say nothing, just walk back to the bedroom area, ignoring them both as Christian begins to take to her and the pilot about take off.

I slide the door close behind me and sit on the bed in a daze.

A moment later and the door slides open, revealing Christian. "Ana, we have to take our seats for take off and then you can come back here and lay down."

I shake my head, "I'll be fine Christian." I lay down, stubbornly trying to prove my point.

"Ana, you're coming back up here if I have to carry you and we both know I will."

I glare at him, still not moving.

He cocks his head to the side challenging me. When I still don't move he begins walking toward me. Quickly I sit up, not wanting him carrying me. When I stand and walk pass him his expression looks a little offended that I wont be playful but I ignore it and head to my seat. Christian sits opposite of me and soon we're taking off and in the air.

The plane trip goes by fast because I fall asleep and when Christian shakes me awake we are already on land. I'm surprised that the landing didn't jolt me awake.

A car is waiting for us with no driver. Christian fishes out a pair of keys in his pant pocket and after placing my bags in the trunk we're on our way to his place.


	4. Chapter 4

Sad piano music wakes me. It's filling the house, creating a type of mournful atmosphere, that fits my mood perfectly. I sit up, rubbing my eyes. I'm surprised Christian isn't here with me. He usually jumps at the opportunity to be able to touch me, and in my unconscious state, thats the only time I've been allowing it. Hes been going to bed early lately, using it as an excuse to be able to be near me.

I look at the clock, it's only 9:30. I know he hasn't been to bed yet.

Stretching a bit I climb out of bed and follow the music. I'm eager to get out of the house tomorrow and start exploring the mountains, and hopefully Christian lets me go alone. Though I doubt it.

I stop just short of the doorway, listening. This is probably the saddest song I've ever heard him playing. It depicts perfectly my own feelings.

He stops suddenly and just when I think he knows I'm here, I hear his phone ringing.

"Hello?"

I'm quiet and listen, wondering who's calling him at this hour.

"No, she's not doing any better."

I immediately tense up. If thats Mrs. Robinson on the other end and she's asking about me, I swear-

"No, mom. I don't know what to do."

I swallow hard. His moms calling to check up on me.

"It's like I lost both of them," His voice breaks at the end and I know he's crying. _No Christian! _I feel responsible for this but at the same time I'm not ready to forgive him yet.

"I know, but how much time does she need? I took her to Aspen, so hopefully she comes out of her shell a little."

I'm annoyed that I cant hear the other end of the conversation but its a little easy to piece together everything.

"Mom?" His voice is hesitant and I can picture Grace trying to coax him along on the other end of the phone. "What if…what if she wont forgive me?" His voice is so low, I have to strain to hear his question to her. It shoots straight to my heart and the question echos in my mind.

"I know I've just never seen her this way with me before. I can't stand it." Hes still crying and I have to force myself not to run to him. "I know….okay I will. I love you too mom. I'll let you know how she's doing tomorrow. Okay."

I wait for a few more seconds then hear the music start up again. That same sad tune. As much as my heart tells me to go in there and kiss him, and beg him to forgive me for these past few days, I can't. I'm just not ready. Turning on my heels I head back to our room.

Cuddling back up underneath the quilt, I sit there and just listen to his music. That last question he had asked Grace, repeating itself in my head. _What if I wont forgive him?_ I dont think I'll feel this way forever, but _what if?_ The thought of forgiving Christian leaves a bad taste in my mouth for some reason. With these terrible thoughts in my mind, I drift off into a fitful sleep.

**Five hours later: **

Theres music here. Sad music that makes my heart ache. Christian is sitting at a black glossy piano, playing the song. I try to walk to him, but my feet wont let me.

Then I hear it. Our baby, crying. He's lying on top of the piano but Christian is just ignoring him. He continues to just play the song, ignoring our screaming baby.

I try to walk to him again but my feet wont move.

"Christian! Get him! He's crying!"

Christian stops playing long enough to look up at our screaming boy, then turns his head to me. "I never asked for this. I never wanted him." Then he goes back to playing. The baby keeps crying and I can't bare it. "Christian!"

Sweat beads down my face as strong hands shake me awake.

"Ana! Ana, Baby wake up!"

My eyes fly open to see Christian sitting on the bed beside me, waking me up. I sit up immediately, sighing in relief that it was just a dream. I look at the empty spot in the bed beside me and see that Christian still hasn't been to bed yet. As much as I hate to admit it, I feel better when he's in bed with me.

"Where…where were you?" I ask, even though I know the answer.

"I was playing the piano. I couldn't sleep." His voice has a hint of guilt as if he knows he's the reason for my nightmare tonight.

I just simply nod and after a minute he hesitantly speaks again.

"You were….you were calling my name in your sleep."

I don't say anything to that. If he only knew why I was calling to him, he'd be furious.

"Do you want me to come to bed?"

I nod and the smile that he gives me makes my heart melt. He stands and quickly removes his white button down shirt and pants, leaving himself only in his boxer briefs. I can't help myself as my eyes roam his body as he walks back to our bed. I silently tell my inner goddess to calm down and send her packing.

Christian slides into bed beside me. Normally he'd automatically reach for me and pull me to his chest, but now he's unsure and knows even the slightest mistake on his end will set me off. So he just lays there, staring up at the ceiling.

I hate the distance though. My fingers long to touch him, to have him close to me, but I ignore this feeling and just roll over to face away from him, falling back to sleep.

In the morning I feel new. Well, maybe new is pushing it. I was able to wake up at a decent hour and take a shower. Christian was already up and showered by the time I made it to the kitchen. I dressed in black yoga pants and a black tank top with a grey hoodie. Christian is in sportswear as well and its all I can do to stop staring. He doesn't look like his usual self and its throwing me off.

"I was thinking I'd cook us breakfast then we could head out to the trails." He says, somewhat brightly.

"I'm not hungry." Before he can lecture me I quickly add, "How about I go on the trails for a bit and then come back in time for us to go get some lunch?" I hope food will help bribe him into giving me what I want. Alls that I want right now is to be on the trials alone. Of course, Fifty has other plans.

"Absolutely not. Ana, I'm not letting you go off on the trails alone." His voice has turned from sweet to authoritative in a heartbeat.

"Well Christian, I'm not asking. I'm going on the trails alone, so I'll be back by lunch." I got to exit out the back door but his hands around my arm stops me mid step.

"The hell you will." He growls.

"Let go of me!" I pull my arm but he doesn't even budge.

"You're not going alone Ana. If I have to just follow you I will, and you know it."

I stare at him for a minute ready to explode at any moment. "Ug! Why do you always have to be this way? I want to be alone right now!"

"Not gonna happen." He says simply, unfazed by me literally yelling in his face. I give him a glare and head out the back door, him on my tail. We don't say a word to each other as I head for the trail in the distance. His footsteps never fade away, always just a few paces behind me. Halfway up the trail I whirl around to him, "Why wont you just leave me alone!"

He doesn't stop until he's right in front of me. "Why wont you just talk to me?" He ask, just as harshly.

"Because I hate you!" The words topple out of my mouth before I can stop them and I've shocked not only him but myself. I don't mean them of course but alls I've been wanting to do lately is hurt him.

"You hate me." His words aren't a question, just simply a declaration. He looks shocked though, and scared, his face paling a bit. I don't care though, I just stand my ground.

"How could you?" I ask, crying all of the sudden. "How could you just leave me Christian? I needed you!"

He runs a frustrated hand though his hair, even more exasperated than he usually has been with me. We keep circling back to this topic.

"I'm sorry! For fucks sake Ana, what do you want me to say?"

"I want you to actually feel what I'm feeling too! To hate yourself for walking out when I needed you!"

"I do! Fuck! Ana, I hate myself so much. You think I wouldn't go back and change it all if I could? How horrible do you think I feel, having to watch you literally fade in front of me! Its-" He breaks off, shaking his head at the situation as he starts to cry. "It's terrifying to watch. And you wont even let me comfort you. I hate it."

My words are ice cold when they come out from between my teeth. "Well boo fucking who."

I turn on my heels and start back toward the house.

"Ana! Come back here and fucking talk to me. You're being stubborn-"

My head starts to get heavy and my vision becomes spotted. Then I hear Christians panicked voice behind me and everything goes dark.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: To everyone who rudely writes reviews and think they have any sway of how I write future chapters, don't waste your time. I have already written most of the future chapters and your reviews have no pull in the direction I'm going to go. If you dont like the story, dont read it. **

A faint beeping noise is the first thing I hear, telling me where I am. When I open my eyes I'm not surprised to see myself in a hospital.

Christian of course is sitting in the chair by my bed, his brow furrowed. When he sees I'm awake he instantly stands and is by my side in seconds.

"What happened?" I ask, surprised that my voice isn't as raspy as it has been lately.

Christian tenses and through gritted teeth says, "You are malnourished."

I purse my lips and look away from him. _Shit_.

A female Doctor that I've never seen before stands at the end of my bed, holding a chart and examining it carefully. Her face is more open and kind than Dr. Greens always serious demeanor. I already like this Doctor much more. She has red hair that is pulled back into a bun and her dark red lipstick makes her ivory skin even more vibrant. Shes a little older than me but very pretty.

"Hello Ana, I'm Dr. Nixon. I'm just going over your chart now. I heard that you haven't been eating much at home."

I don't say anything, just peek up at Christian to talk for me.

Christians brow is still furrowed and I can tell he's mad at me. "She's hardly eaten anything. I can't even get her to drink much usually."

Dr. Nixon nods and writes a few things down.

"Ana, you need to eat. Real foods. Something solid. You'll never get any stronger if you keep this up." She says, without looking up at her chart.

I shake my head, "I'm fine." I say, and when she goes to speak I snap at her, "I said I'm fine!" This surprises both Christian and Dr. Nixon. I feel bad but I'm just so sick of everyone trying to force feed me and force me to feel better on their time. I just want to be left alone.

Regaining her composure Dr. Nixon looks at me sternly. Somewhat seeming to channel Dr. Greene.

"You need to eat Ana." She repeats. Her and Christian exchange looks, then she heads out.

I look at him. He's still in his sports gear he had on…earlier? I have no idea how long I've been here, but now he's also wearing a grey hoodie, which only enhances his eyes.

"Ana," he says, his voice is distant. Not at all the same pleading Christian as usual. He reminds me of when we first met. Very standoffish. "You'll being staying here I guess, until you're strong enough to go home."

_Wait, what? _

Panic rises up my spine and I imagine I look like a deer in headlights. "No!" I say, tears springing to my eyes. "Don't leave me!" I understand why he'd want to. But I can't. As much as I've wanted my solace these past days, knowing Christian was at arms length was soothing. If he had gone to work at all, I would've been furious. But he hasn't. Ever loyal Christian stayed and worked at home, and I had been nothing but a bitch to him. I begin sobbing, "Please, Christian don't leave me!"

He springs into action, instantly popping back into my Christian and hurries to sit on the bed beside me, sweeping me into his arms. I cling to him, wrapping my arms around his neck tightly. _Why had I been so cruel to him? _I feel my body sigh as he holds me tight.

"Oh Baby," he croons in my ear, practically groaning at being able to finally touch me and me responding normally to him. "I would never leave you. I meant, I would stay here too. I just thought that was understood."

I can't stop crying though. It is as if my body was going into step two, and I had to cry everything a new with Christian holding me.

"I want to go home! I'll eat I promise. Please, just-take me home Christian." I sob into his chest.

He runs his hand up and down my back, "Okay Baby," he kisses my hair.

**Next morning:**

Because I was admitted with malnourishment, Dr. Nixon wouldn't let me leave until today, and sent me home with a nutrition plan that I'm required to follow for at least the next three weeks.

Once we got back to our place in Aspen we immediately packed and headed back home. The plane ride seemed quick, me resting against Christians shoulder then entire time, and once we landed Taylor was waiting outside of the car patiently.

**Christians POV: **

We sit in the back of the car, Taylor at the wheel, driving us home. Ana is draped across my lap, her head tucked into the crook of my neck as I rub my hand soothingly up and down her leg. "Shh, it's okay Baby." I whisper in her ear, then kiss her cheek. It feels so good to touch her. I have missed it so much. She no longer cries, but just whimpers every now and then. She's been beating herself up about the way she has treated me, ever since we left the hospital.

"I was so awful to you," She says in a small voice.

I shake my head, "Hush. I deserved it."

That adorable frown is strewn about her face as she pulls away just enough to be able to look at me. "You did not."

I kiss the corner of her mouth where the ends are pointed down, "Hush. Lay back down and try to rest some more." She obeys, immediately snugging back up to me. My arms wrap around her waist and I hold her tight. I catch Taylors eye in the review mirror and he quickly looks back at the road but his relieved smile doesn't go unnoticed by me. Him and Gail have been so worried about her, and I don't blame them. Ana has been nothing but a shell of herself these past days and its been shocking for all of us. I can't believe its only been a little over two weeks, but it feels like its been months at the least.

When we get to the house, Ana refuses to leave my side. She has to be touching me, holding me, having some type of contact. Not that I object, I welcom it all. It's such a head spin from how she had been treating me the past week.

I cary her to our bedroom, even after she tries to argue that she is perfectly capable of walking.

When I sit her gently in our bed, her grip around my neck tightens as I try to stand up. "No, please stay." She murmurs and there is a small trace of panic in her voice.

Smiling I reach around and unclasp her hands, "I'm just going to go have Gail make you a tray."

She shakes her head like a petulant child, "Im not hungry."

I give her a stern look, "Ana, you told me you'd eat, remember?" I say, using her words against her.

Pouting she lays back on her pillow. I grin, leaning down to kiss her forehead, "Rest. I'll be right back." Then I head off to the kitchen in search of Gail.

After informing Gail that Ana is indeed better and wanting food, even though it's a lie, I walk quickly back to our room. Quietly, I open the door and walk inside. Ana is asleep surprisingly. I go over to her, crawling into my side of the bed and pulling her to me. She groans and stirs. Her eyes flutter open and she looks up at me.

"Sleep, Baby." I whisper in her ear, before kissing the spot underneath.

She moans, a quiet moan and her body softly moves. I feel her push back into me and my breath catches at her bold move.

"Ana…" I'm in no shape for her to be teasing me right now.

She rolls over so that we are nose to nose. "Christian, please." Her voice is small and pulls at my heartstrings. I'm still resisting, but it has been so long sense I have, had sex with her, that I want nothing more than to burry myself in her as deep as possible. Before I can protest further, her lips are on mine, silencing any words from me. I groan as her lips move forcefully, surprising me again at her eagerness. She must have missed this just as much as me. But Ana's well being is more important to me than my horniness. I pull her back gently. "Ana, no." My eyes are still shut and my brow pushes together. I seem to be trying to convince myself more than her that we can't do this.

"Please Christian. I _need_ this right now." She swings a leg over me so she's straddling my waist. I groan as she grinds down onto my rock hard cock.

"Ana…" I try to have some authority to my voice, but its weak even to my own ears.

"Shhh," She says, right before her lips find mine again. I know theres no use to fight against it anymore. Fuck sake, I've wanted her begging me to fuck her for the last hellish days that have passed.

I don't fight it anymore, letting my hands roam her body and I try not to cringe as my hands mold into her more than thin frame. I hate the fact that she doesn't eat anymore but I try to remember what the good doctor had told me privately and that was that she needs time to cope. One of the main signs of depression is lack of appetite so it'll be a while until she's back to eating normally. My jaw clenches at the thought and I tell myself if I have to hold her down and force feed her I will.

"Christian," Ana moans, bringing me back to the now.

"Yes, baby, I'm right here." I murmur as I kiss that spot just below her ear that I know she loves so much. I'm rewarded with her moan and another grind against my erection. Flipping us so she is underneath me and I slowly lift her shirt above her head. Her arms lift up for me to make it easier and I instantly cup her breast.

Arching her back, she gives me better access to them. I'm about to completely worship her body, it has just been too long and I've missed being this close to her.

"I love you Ana," I whisper as I pepper kisses all along her neck. She groans and instinctively flexes her hips at me.

"I love you too Christian." Her voice is thick with need and it arouses me even more.

Reaching behind her I undo her bra, leaning her forward I quickly remove it and she falls back onto the pillows beneath her. My mouth waste no time and is on her right nipple, sucking madly.

"Uh!" She breaths, her head arching back as her eyes screw shut. I flick my tongue over the bud beneath me and soon its taut and erect. I move to her left breast and I repeat the action.

Anas hands move to my hair and she pulls furiously, something I love.

"Christian-please." Her voice is so wanting, its all I can do not to cum right here and now.

"What is it you want, Baby?" I ask, moving my hand down between her legs. She still has on those fucking yoga "pants", that she calls them. They drive me crazy and her ass looks amazing in them. I pull the pants down her legs and slide my fingers inside her panties. Im not surprised to find that she's absolutely soaked for me. I groan as my fingers slide inside her.

"Fuck, you're so wet." I move my lips back to hers. Her breathing is coming so harshly I can tell she's already wanting to cum just on my fingers.

"Christian, I want you inside me," Ana says finally. This surprises me but I'm more than happy to oblige. I slowly slip my fingers out of her, not missing the opportunity to lick every drop of her from my fingers. She watches in amazement, biting down on her bottom lip. I shake my head at her and lean back down, pulling her lips away from her teeth with my own, and I bite down on it lightly. "You know that drives me crazy when you do that." I breath against her lips. She sucks in a breath but remains silent. I stand, quickly removing all my clothes. Leaning over I pull her panties off, leaving her naked with me. Slowly I crawl up her body not stopping until Im hovering right over her face.

"I love you," I tell her again. I can see tears forming in her eyes as she smiles up at me. Her hands slowly slide along my arms, something that at one time I'd never have let her do. Now, I absolutely love it.

I sink inside her, causing us both to groan. Her head falls back again and her eyes close. Im staring down at her though and stop when I'm all the way inside her. "Look at me."

Her eyes open and she looks up. I begin moving in and out of her again, relishing in the feeling.

"I love you Christian," She whispers, right as one of her tears spill down her cheek. I lean down and kiss the trail she's left behind, back up her cheek.

I can already feel myself ready to cum, but I refuse to even entrain the thought until she does.

"Do you want me to cum inside you?" I ask, the nagging question not leaving my mind.

She blinks and looks up at me. "I haven't…I haven't gotten back on my birth control…."

I dont even flinch, "I know."

She just stares back at me for a moment. I have stopped moving but am still inside her, waiting on her decision.

"You might get me pregnant again though." She says, looking down.

"I want that." I say honestly.

"What?" She leans back more, to be able to look at me more clearly.

"I've already called Dr. Greene and talked to her about it. She said after two weeks we could start trying again-"

"Christian, I thought you weren't ready."

"I am. I want this. I know its something you want so badly, and Baby, after watching you these past hellish days, seeing you that way-I want you to have a baby with me. I want us to be parents. I want you to be happy."

Shes crying now, and I reach out my hand and brush her hair back soothingly.

"I dont want you to feel like you have to do this, Christian. I know you're not ready-"

I kiss her to silence her. "I am though." I say against her lips.

Her eyes search mine for any signs of lying or to make sure I really am ready. "I want this so bad," She says through tears.

"Lets do this then Baby. Lets make a baby."

Nodding she wraps her legs tightly around my waist, silently telling me to continue. We continue, both humming together, hands clasped together and Ana crying from the emotions of it all. Afterwards I hold her tightly, her head resting against my chest and she cries some more. I remain silent, kissing her hair every now and then and running my hand up and down her back.

Eventually she falls asleep this way and I'm left to think of the past few days and the decisions I have made that have led up to this moment.

I had been going crazy with Ana spiraling downward and I had called Dr. Greene, asking when Ana would be able to try again. I figured that was the best solution. And by now, I was completely all in. I had been taken so off guard the first time, but now, seeing her this way, seeing just how badly she wanted a baby, only made me want one. I lived to make her happy and there was no way I was going to continue to sit idly by and watched her deteriorate in front of me. I had a plan to sit her down and talk it over with her, maybe in another week, when she had a little more time.

But now that she had been ready for sex, I decided to seize the moment and ask her if she wanted to try now.

As she softly snores on my chest, I send up a silent prayer that she's now pregnant again and we can hopefully move on from this hell.


	6. Chapter 6

Two months. Thats how long it had been since Ana and I decided to try to get pregnant. But since then it has been nothing but hell. I thought deciding this would make things better, but how naive I was to think this would just go away. If anything its been ten times worse. Every pregnancy she's taken thats been negative has felt like a blow to my stomach. And I feel responsible. I know she resents me, she says she forgives me yes, but I can _feel_ it.

When we make love now, it doesn't feel real, it just feel like we have a mission and then its over. She's back to retreating into herself. She doesn't hate me, or not allow me to touch her, but its just not how it use to be. I just want my Ana back. _My Ana. _

Im leaning against the bed waiting. She has stopped letting me go into the bathroom with her to take the test—says it makes her more anxious. I've abided by her wishes, even though my controlling nature hates it.

I hear something hit the bathroom door with a light thump, then Ana curses. I don't have to be a scholar to figure out that the test is negative but I ask her through the door if she's alright anyways.

It opens abruptly and Ana emerges, looking calm and collected. Her mascara streaks give her away though and I know shes shed more than a few tears. "Its negative." She says it as if its no big deal, then wipes her runny nose with her hand before walking past me.

Ive learned to let her go. She needs time to cope and my controlling nature that wishes for nothing more than to wrap her up in my arms and try to make it better, will only make things worse.

**That Night **

"Im ovulating until tomorrow so we should have sex tonight."

Its not that I don't want to have sex with this woman. Of course I do. Even in her baggy grey T-shirt and tiny sleep shorts, she looks sexy as fuck. But the casual way she just brought up having sex as if its like an arrangement, makes me not in the mood. I know, _what a hypocrite_. I of all people have no room to talk about not wanting to have sex when its an arrangement, but coming from Ana, it sounds weird to me.

We're in our bedroom on opposite sides of our bed, each removing decorative pillows from the bed to the floor.

"Baby, maybe we should give it a rest."

Ana stops mid throw of a fluffy dark green pillow to give me the death glare. "What?"

Her tone makes it clear that she has indeed heard me, but is giving me the option to take back what I had just said. I stand my ground though. "I think we need to stop trying for a bit. I've heard that couples who stop trying, suddenly become pregnant. Something about them taking the pressure off, or something like that."

Ana has completely stopped, to now rest both hands on her hips and is looking at me so disapprovingly. "This was your idea in the first place, Christian."

"I know it was. I'm not saying lets give up. I just think we've been through a lot, and it would be best for us if we took a break. We can try again in a month or two." Everything I just said is complete bullshit. I could give two rats asses about my well being, but I've learned that if I lump myself in along with Ana in the whole "it would be best for _us_" thing, she responds better.

"A _month _or _two_?" She leans forward on the last word, throwing her whole body into it, to show me just how mad I've made her.

I try to defuse the situation quickly. "Baby," I crawl on top of the bed, grab her by the waist and gently pull her down with me. She goes, which tells me she's somewhat responsive to what I have to say.

"You know I want this just as bad as you do." I whisper in her ear. Anas on her back, eyes already closed as if shes already surrendered to me. Kissing her neck gently, I continue. "We just need to give it time. The pass few times we've had sex it was like you weren't even really here with me."

Anas eyes pop open and she suddenly giggles. My heart flutters. It has been such a rare occasion that I get to hear that noise that when it happens its a treat.

"Christian Greys insecure about our sex?" She smirks at me. I cant even be mad at her teasing me. Smiling at her I kiss the bridge of her nose, "I've missed that."

"Missed what?" She ask, her brow creasing in confusion.

"Your laugh."

Her face goes into a sad smile and she looks away from me, "Yeah, I guess I haven't had a lot to smile about lately."

"Ana, what can I do to make you happy?" I whisper to her.

She doesn't miss a beat. Looking back at me she says, "Make a baby with me."

I let out a exasperated breath. This woman is going to kill me. I will do anything for her to be happy but I want her health to not be an issue either. I literally can't win here.

I look her in the eyes and the tears that begin to fill up, beg me silently to please reconsider my previous thoughts.

"I'll be here with you this time. I promise." Her whispered words and gentle touch as she caresses my cheek are my undoing. I crash my mouth onto hers and her responsive moans make my cock instantly hard. She's more responsive with everything this time. Her body moving against me, her kisses matching with my own passion, and when my fingers run down to her sex, she's dripping for me.

"Fuck," I groan. I cant get my clothes off fast enough, or hers, and soon they're discarded on the floor.

"Christian," she moans, as I line up to her entrance.

Kissing her neck I tell her how much I love her before sliding inside.

"I love you too Christian." A few hushed tears slide down her cheeks as she looses herself in the moment.

Sliding in slowly I savor it and Ana's response to me. Her feet wrap around my waist and she uses them to push me quicker.

"No Baby, slowly."

She lets out a frustrated moan and I see her face is wrinkled in distress. Already she's wanting release. I move my lips over her scrunched up face and kiss every wrinkle until its smoothed out.

"You're wanting it already?" I ask, to toy with her.

"Yes—please, Christian!" Her hands claw at the sheet beneath us. She should know better than to draw my attention to her hands. Quickly I grab each in either of my hands and pin them above her head.

"Yes, beg me Baby." I stop moving inside her suddenly, waiting.

"Uh!" She tries to move against me but I pin her hips with my own.

"Uh uh. Beg." I murmur in her ear.

"Please," she's breathless and theres small beads of sweat around her beautiful face. She's so fucking beautiful and all mine. Flexing my hips once, twice, three times, until she groans my name again, I then stop. "No!"

She's so close. If I would've moved in her just once more, she would've been done.

"I don't want you thinking about anything but my dick inside you." I tell her. My lips find her breast and I waste no time and suck her right one. My tongue traces the bud thats grown taut and I flick it a few times.

"Christian please!" Ana jerks her body underneath me, trying to get some sort of friction.

I kiss my way back up to her lips. "Okay Baby. Anything for you." I tell her then begin to pick the pace up and don't stop until she's squeezing around me. I cum with her, then fall beside her trying to catch my breath.

Ana rolls over to look at me and smiles, "I was defiantly with you."

I let out a laugh, "Yes. You definitely were."


	7. Chapter 7

Anas POV:

Something was rubbing my belly. I sighed, upset to be woken up but it didn't last long. When I opened my eyes, Christian was sprawled across our bed with his head resting on my stomach. His hand was on my belly rubbing it back and forth. My hand went into his hair and I ran it through it a few times. Smiling he looked up at me. "Did I wake you?" He asked in a way that told me he wasn't at all upset that he had. I nodded. Rolling over so that he was on all four above me, he crawled up my body until we were staring at each other in the eyes.

"Well I'm sorry Mrs. Grey but I simply _had _to check on our little guy."

I giggled, playfully swatting at his arm, "_Or _little _girl!_" I scolded.

He smirked, "Its a boy."

Rolling my eyes I pretended to be mad, but secretly I was hoping for a boy as well. I'd love to have a little Christian following me around all day. He'd defiantly be as beautiful as him.

Christian kissed me swiftly then when he pulled back said, "But two Anas…" His face went into a mischievous smile. "I'd be okay with that." I was almost positive he could read my thoughts. I had just been thinking the same thing but about him and our potential son.

He rolled to the side, holding my waist, he looked up at the ceiling. "Hmm that gives me some things to think about. What if I had two Anas? But not one being my daughter just two of you…" His eyes did that half lidded thing where I knew he was happily thinking dirty thoughts in that messed up brain of his. I was intrigued though. I moved so I was on my side, facing him. "Two of me eh? And whatever would Christian Grey do with two Anastasias?" I asked, genially wondering.

Christians eyes closed completely and I noticed his cock twitch. "I'd defiantly have my hands full." He laughed but I noticed him get even harder and I could only imagine what he was thinking about.

"Well if I had _two _Christians…" I bit my bottom lip thinking. _Two Christian Grey's. Dear Lord help me. _

My inner goddess is cracking her knuckles, and has her gym clothes on, gladly up for the challenge.

Christian however, didn't looked thrilled. His eyes popped open and he frowned. "I don't like the idea."

I scoffed at him, "Excuse me?"

Grabbing my arm he pushed me back down to be lying on my back, with him once again straddling my waist. He began kissing up along my neck, breathing heavily on my skin. "The idea of you with anyone else drives me crazy."

I laughed, "Christian it would be you though! Just two of you." I giggle.

His hands found mine and interlocking them he raised them gently above my head, still kissing along my neck. "I don't care. He'd still be experiencing things with you that this version of Christian Grey wouldn't be. Therefore, it would be with someone else."

He had me there. But I didn't care, I was still going to fantasize about it. Having two Christians…the ideas were floating through my brain, causing me to blush. I could just imagine. One Christian fucking me from behind as I was doggy style on our bed, while the other one laid under me, suckling my breast and enjoying the view. One would be demanding and hard, while the other would be loving and gentle. But the more I thought of it, I already had that. Christian was a bit of a Doctor Jekyll and Mister Hyde. Angry and demanding one minute and sweet and loving the next.

More the latter as of lately. Ever sense we found out I was finally pregnant two months ago, Christian has treated me as if I'm made of glass. He hadn't even fucked me proper. Always gentle and sweet. Which I love and I know his intentions are good, so I've allowed it. To some extent.

Christians amped up security even more with me when hes at work. I've been going a little crazy and I can tell he needs a good release as well. He has needs, and I haven't been meeting them lately.

"Christian," I breath.

"Yes, baby?" He's moved down to my breast and is nipping at them gently through my tank top. They're so extremely sensitive lately that even this feels amazing.

"I want you to tie me up." I tell him.

He stops what hes doing and looks down at me. "Ana-"

"I want you to be rough with me damn it."

He raises a brow at me, surprised. Blinking a few times, he finally shakes his head.

"Christian for goodness sakes, you won't hurt the baby." I tell him, exasperated.

Shaking his head he says, "Ana, we're not taking any chances."

I roll my eyes, "Ug!"

Christians still for so long that I finally look back at him. "Did you just roll your eyes Mrs. Grey?"

I'm surprised by the sudden change but play along. "Yes, Sir."

He clucks his tongue at me, "Uh uh uh. You know better than that."

Licking my lips I get ready. I know I'm in for a treat. Christians finally going to give me what I want and its been so long, I want it badly.

Leaning to my ear he says in a whisper, "You know what happens when you roll your eyes."

I remain quiet. "Don't move." He commands then stands. I stay in the exact same position, not even moving my arms that are still above my head. When he returns Im giddy to see two silk ties in his hands. One goes around my eyes. "Arms up." He commands and I do as he says. He removes my shirt up over my head, and now I'm left in only my panties.

He flips me suddenly and I'm on my stomach. Wasting no time, he grabs both my hands and ties them behind my back. I let out a surprised gasp.

"Ana, if it gets to be too much tell me. Do you understand?" His voice is soft, once again his Doctor Jekyll making an appearance. But right now all I want is Mr. Hyde.

I nodded, trying to hurry this along.

"Say it Ana." He commands.

I inwardly roll my eyes at him. "Yes, Sir."

"Good girl."

Slowly his hands trace up my leg. I shiver as he gets higher, and the anticipation is killing me. As he gets to the top of my right thigh, his hand disappears and I groan. Pulling frustratingly on my restraints.

Ignoring me, he moves to the other leg. By the time he gets to the top of this thigh, I'm soaked. His fingers graze along the outside of my panties.

"Fuck, you're so wet Anastasia. You've soaked through these." He drums his fingers against me and the vibration feels amazing against my clit. I squirm and a moan topples out of my mouth.

Pushing the fabric aside, his fingers now have full contact with me. He teases me further, only running them leisurely back and forth. When they find my tiny bud I groan. He begins rubbing it faster, driving me mad. I try to grind against him hard, getting even more friction and it feels amazing.

His fingers return to my entrance and his index finger slips inside. With his thumb he begins rubbing madly against my bud and I can barely keep from coming right there.

"Uh! Yes! Christian, please-" I gasp as he increases the friction and adds a second finger. I'm just about to come when his hand disappears from me completely. My panties are pulled down my legs and I yelp when he smack me hard on the ass.

In one swift movement his cock is in me. Grabbing my waist he brings me to a kneeling position in front of him, my head still lying on the pillows beneath me, but now my lower half is in the air for him to do with as he pleases.

He begins a slow pace, the position is a bit uncomfortable, because of the way my hands are behind my back. But as he picks up speed I find myself meeting each of his thrust with my own. I groaning loudly and my breathing is completely filling the room. Every now and then Christians hand makes contact with my ass and it make the pleasure even more intense.

Finally both his hands grab my waist and he begins thrusting into me relentlessly. I can feel myself rushing toward the ledge and as the pleasure builds inside of me, all at once it floods my body and I come in waves.

Christian comes right after me and I'm vaguely aware of him untying my hands and removing my blindfold. I peek my eyes open and he smiles down at me, before kissing me gently. Mr. Hyde has vanished and Doctor Jekyll is back.

"I love you Christian."

"I love you too, Baby."

**A/N: One thing I was mainly disappointed about in the original books was that we didn't really see Christian with Ana while she was pregnant. This story will be continuing with a better insight of what that might have looked like. :) **


End file.
